The… Haunted… Pink… Traphouse…
An urban horror themed haunted house is probably the greatest haunt story never told and after The Haunted Pink Traphouse… is still untold.
13 Stories Haunted House features three attractions - their main attraction, which this year is The Haunted Pink Traphouse, the very unique Sacrifice, and a zombie shoot. We only did the Traphouse this year but have done the others in the past. See our previous review.
We knew this was either going to be EPICCCCC or an EPIC flop; and unfortunately, it was an EPIC flop. Get Out, Tales from the Hood, Leprechaun in the Hood, Snoop Dogg's Hood of Horror, Blacula, Blackenstein… so many opportunities for really great themes and references but there were none. Or if there were any they must have been so obscure or oddly placed that we didn’t pick up on them. The Haunted Pink Traphouse felt like an already incohesive haunt that decided to play some 2 Chains music in random rooms. This does not make an urban-themed haunted house. Think bloody operating room, aliens and toxic waste, and a white guy with no shirt on waiving a tiny hatchet jumping out and yelling, “Stay out of my traphouse!” The absolute last straw was the random girl shaking her ass on a pole. Really?… Really though? We all love a good stripper and a little sexual innuendo usually mixes well with horror but this just felt wrong and completely out of place.
We get it. There is a thin line between poking fun at the racial stereotypes and cliches that exist within the horror genre and looking racist, but come onnnnnn! The thought had so much potential! 13 Stories has awesome space and a pretty decent collection of props, but even with an amazing theme to work with, lacks the vision and actor talent to pull it off. This was just disappointing. There were a couple note-worthy actors (SWAT girl, you were great), but most of the haunters had insufficient make-up, costuming, and acting ability to sell their role. At a minimum, could you guys at least cover/hide your step pads?
We wanted so badly for this to be amazing! After talking to one of the managers, who has experienced some pretty hardcore haunts and reading their website and write-ups on various urban/hip-hop websites and the about section on their TicketLeap website, our hopes were high… too high! All our urban haunt hopes and dreams crushed.
If you decide to check out The Haunted Pink Traphouse for yourself, we hope that this review sets your expectations more in line with what you are going to experience and not what we were looking forward to.
